Finding Healing And Hope: My Journey

Finding Healing and Hope: My Journey of Faith and Personal Development

Losing a loved one is an indescribable pain. But when that loss comes through violence and unthinkable evil, the grief reshapes every part of who you are. On July 16th, 2017, my precious daughter Mikayla was taken from me—abducted and murdered by sex traffickers. Nothing prepares a mother for that kind of loss. The aftermath was not only grief but post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that followed me for years, affecting my mind, body, spirit, and sense of safety in the world.

For more than five years, I lived inside that trauma. Yet through my unwavering faith in Jesus Christ and a deep personal development journey, I found a path forward—not away from the pain, but through it. This is my story of healing, hope, and transformation.

The Depths of Grief

The moment I received the news, life as I knew it stopped. Shock wrapped itself around my heart, and the world felt unreal—as if I were watching my own life from a distance. The grief was not just emotional; it was physical. My chest ached constantly. Sleep was elusive. Anxiety and fear became daily companions. I struggled with simple tasks while trying to show up for my family, even when I felt completely shattered.

Our family was forever changed. Holidays, birthdays, ordinary days—everything carried the weight of her absence. The pain didn’t come in waves; it lived with me. PTSD showed up in unexpected ways: hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, and moments where my body reacted before my mind could catch up. Grief was not linear, and there was no timetable for “moving on.” I learned quickly that survival itself was an act of courage.

Embracing Faith

In my darkest moments, when words failed and hope felt distant, my faith became my lifeline. I didn’t always have the strength to pray eloquently—but I learned that whispered prayers and silent tears were enough. I leaned on God when I couldn’t stand on my own.

Scripture became a source of grounding and reassurance. Verses reminding me that God was near to the brokenhearted gave me something solid to hold onto. There were moments when peace arrived quietly, without explanation—moments I knew were divine. Faith didn’t erase my pain, but it gave it meaning. It reminded me that even in devastation, I was not abandoned.

Over time, my relationship with God deepened. I learned that faith isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about trusting when there are none.

The Power of Personal Development

Alongside my faith, I knew I needed practical tools to survive and heal. That realization led me into personal development—a journey that helped me rebuild myself from the inside out.

Therapy became a safe space to process trauma and learn how grief lived in my body. Support groups reminded me I wasn’t alone, even when my pain felt isolating. Journaling, reflection, and intentional self-care helped me reconnect with myself. I learned to listen to my body, honor my emotions, and release the guilt that often accompanies grief.

Personal development taught me resilience—not the kind that ignores pain, but the kind that allows growth alongside it. Slowly, I began to feel moments of strength again.

Finding Purpose in Pain

As healing unfolded, something unexpected happened: purpose began to emerge. I realized that while I could not change what happened to Mikayla, I could choose how I honored her life.

I began speaking out against human trafficking, raising awareness about its devastating realities and supporting organizations that fight this horrific crime. Sharing my story became both an act of courage and a calling. Each conversation, each moment of advocacy, transformed my pain into something meaningful.

Mikayla’s life matters. And through advocacy, her legacy continues to create impact.

Steps Toward Recovery

For anyone walking through grief or trauma, I want you to know this: healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Here are steps that helped me and may help you:

• Seek professional support. Therapy and trauma-informed care can be life-changing.
• Build a support network. Safe people matter—those who listen without judgment.
• Practice self-care without guilt. Rest, nourishment, and boundaries are necessities, not luxuries.
• Develop healthy coping tools. Journaling, prayer, movement, and reflection can help regulate emotions.
• Be patient with yourself. Healing is not a race.
• Allow faith or meaning to guide you. Whether spiritual or personal, connection fuels resilience.

Above all, practice self-compassion. You are not weak for hurting—you are human.

Conclusion

In the face of unbearable tragedy, the healing power of faith and personal development can be transformative. While the pain of losing Mikayla will never fully fade, I have learned to integrate my grief into a larger story—one of hope, resilience, and purpose.

By sharing my journey, I hope to remind others that they are not alone. Even in the darkest moments, there is light—sometimes faint, sometimes distant, but always present. Together, we can heal, rebuild, and create meaning from pain.

And if you are still in the depths, hear this clearly:

You are stronger than you know. And healing is possible.